


A liquefied candy bar and innocent stripping (their shirts were soaked)

by Pai61



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, Normal AU, Short, SnowBaz, agatha is a try-hard french chick now, baz has dark skin like he used to, coffee shop AU, davy mage is d o n e, ebb just doesn't show up like ever just mentioned, guess that's all there ever is, no vampires(sorry), penny and agatha play minor roles, pumpkin mocha breve is a liquefied candy bar, same with fi, simon is an actual IDIOT, we have so many feeellliiinnnnggss, we love penny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 18:16:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18429482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pai61/pseuds/Pai61
Summary: Baz heads into a coffee shop, Simon is tired. They make Pumpkin Mocha Breve. Simon ends up messing up, but for the better, until Agatha is mistaken as his girlfriend and oh dear what shall I do. Davy sees all, lots of growling, Simon can't help it. You know. Just another Normal/Coffee shop au to grace your lives.BTW: I own none of these characters and they all belong to the inspirational goddess of literature, Rainbow Rowell! I make no money or profit off any of my works, and I don't mean to infringe upon copyright restrictions!





	A liquefied candy bar and innocent stripping (their shirts were soaked)

**Simon**

My head is resting on my hand as I bend down over the counter, watching the lights on the ceiling flicker every so often. The business is slow today, hardly anyone ever comes in on Wednesday afternoons, because everyone chose afternoon classes. But I’m too much of a morning person to sleep in. Davy, head of the Watford cafe, has not showed up today either, and Ebb, the cleaning lady, came in for five minutes, before claiming there was simply no need. I’m practically asleep, and Penny, my best friend, IS asleep, which she would never admit to, but she’s softly snoring under the coffee machine. My eyes slip closed and I doze softly in the soft heat as the machines whir and click. I get scared to death so bad when the bell above the door rings that I fall to the ground behind the counter. I hear the ticking of expensive shoes on tile as a customer peers over the counter and sneers.

“I doubt this is proper etiquette for an employee,” he snarls, and straightens again, back out of sight. Thank Crowley because I’m blushing so hard right now. Penny is still asleep, so I’m left all alone to deal with this rude customer. I put on my best fake dealing-with-annoying-customers smile and pick myself back up, trying to ignore the bruise forming on my backside. The customer, whom I am going to call “Vampy” is exactly like what I am calling him. He’s a vampire. I mean, if you ignore his reddish golden skin, he looks like one. He’s got super grey eyes, clear and bright, and dark hair, slicked back just like in the old movies. It’s probably shoulder length. He’s wearing a business suit, probably some really expensive brand, and he’s even got a Widow’s Peak. When he opens his mouth to sneer again, I notice rather large canines, but I can’t stare at him any longer because he’s currently snapping his fingers in front of my face. Shit. 

“Are you going to take my order or just stare at me all day,” he asks amused. Vampy can raise one dark eyebrow perf-sinisterly (is that a word?) His long, gracefu-evil hands tap away on the counter and he’s still looking at me. He rolls his eyes and gives me A Look.

“Close your mouth, Snow. You’ll catch a fly,” he tells me, still smirking evily.

“How do you know my na- oh,” I say, realizing I’ve got Simon Snow on my tag. I shake my head and try not to spit at him. What a twat.

“What’s your order, sir?” I ask as politely as possible.

“Pumpkin Mocha Breve, I’ll assist you. It’s too complex for your brain to handle,” he says, with a sinister scoff. I just roll my eyes while my fists remain balled by my sides. I ring it up and he hands me his card (platinum the rich posh bastard) and I begin to make his drink. He points out the steps explicitly and slowly, like I’m an idiot. I make his drink, relaxing to his voice, which has lost some of its malice as he concentrates on the order. I smoothly run my hands around the machines, twisting nobs, adding the little things he asks me to put in. I find myself referring back to him on the simplest of decisions (because he would throw it in my face if I got it wrong) (not really, his voice is so smooth and creamy it’s almost like the drink I’m making). I finish, finally, and it’s unbelievable how long it took to make this drink. I thank my lucky stars that today is a slow day, if it hadn’t been, Davy would’ve fired me for making the line go past the door. I hand it to him and he put his hands up.

“Feel free to try it,” he tells me, looking pretty tame for the posh vampire he is. I do, taking a small sip, and I nearly spit it out, it’s so sweet. 

“It’s a liquified candy bar!” I yell. I can see Penny startle beneath the machine (college is kicking her butt) (even though she is most likely smarter than Hawking). Vampy curls his lip in a sneer and snatches the drink from me, but my grip is too tight on it from shock, and the coffee flies into the air. Right onto both of us. Just as my boss walks through the door.

“Simon! What is going on!” He says as Vampy is looking at me, eyes narrowed, thick black brows furrowed, creasing wrinkles on his forehead. His hair is sopping wet and has an orange glow from the coffee. His suit is absolutely soaked through, and is hugging his tighter than I could believe. The hot coffee is burning me through my shirt and I immediately jump into action, ripping it off and dashing into the storeroom, where I keep my extra shirts. I grab one for Vampy just in case too. I grab a roll of paper towels and when I return Davy is looking at Vampy with lots of distrust and Vampy is staring at me, open mouthed. That is, until he notices me looking at him, and he snaps his mouth closed, putting on a glare. I rip the paper towels off the roll and completely ignoring Davy, I try to absorb all the hot coffee. I’m practically harassing him, with how much I’m grabbing at his chest. It’s not like I can stop, I mean, seriously, this guy must be a pro football player, he definitely has six packs under this suit. I look at him, my mouth dangling open most likely, and I back away.

“I have an extra shirt, if you want it,” I tell him, turning away and grabbing my own. I pull it over my head and grab the other one. I make a motion with my arms for him to take it, and after about three seconds of intense staring, he takes the shirt and strips as well. I glance at Davy and his mouth is hanging open. Penny is laughing uncontrollably into her apron in the corner of the room. I turn back and I almost wish I hadn’t because Vampy is pulling off his dress shirt, stained and wrinkled, but underneath, is the smoothest, most gorgeous skin I have ever seen in the entirety of my life. Reddish golden brown and rippling as his abs flex. He’s got a perfect v shape leading down- and I snatch my eyes back and he’s looking at me, one eyebrow raised, his lips in an amused smirk. My eyes look at his lips, then trail down his neck, and I’m practically drooling. What the hell is happening to me. I cough awkwardly and then rush behind the counter. Practically tripping over myself to make him another drink. I tuck a free drink coupon into the side of the cup and I hand it to him. I then grab forty dollars out yesterday’s tip jar for me, and I hand it to him. 

“For your dry cleaning, I’m sorry this is all I have, but if you come back next time, I can pay for the rest,” I ramble, and to be honest, Vampy looks a little sad. I should probably find out his real name, considering he is going to be the subject of my fantasies for the next era. He takes his drink wordlessly, sopping wet suit on his shoulder, and he exits, leaving me staring longingly at his back. My forty dollars dangles from my grip. Davy is staring at me, and he looks about ready to lecture, but then he shakes his head and sighs, and then he turns around and leaves. Oops. Penny starts bursting into tear inducing laughter, and she falls to the ground, holding her sides. I join in, because what just happened must have been a hullucination. The most beautiful man just waltzed into this coffee shop on my shift, treated me like shit, degraded me, ordered the most ridiculous drink, let me try it sweetly (almost as sweet as his candy-bar drink) and then I spilled coffee all over him, making us both strip our shirts off. He then promptly left with my shirt on his back, and I never got his name. That shirt looked really good on him. I want him to keep it, so he can grace the public with his beauty. It rode up a bit because he’s so much longer than me, and showed his abs underneath, but despite it’s shortness, it was quite loose fitting, giving him a cute, care-free look. His hair was damp and falling around his face, and he looked like he had just stepped out of a shower. He smelled like sugary coffee and a hint of pumpkin and I nearly died. I hope he comes back.

**Baz**

That horribly adorable cutie from the coffee shop lent me his shirt after stripping  _ two feet away from me _ and drooled over my own bare chest. Holy Merlin, Morgana, and Methuselah. He was so gorgeous, and I don’t even think he knows my name. I heard him mumbling “shirt for Vampy’ in the storage room. It wouldn’t be the first time someone mistakes me for a vampire. My cousin Dev and his best friend Niall give me shit about it. I just came out to them two weeks ago, and now I’m a rich posh gay vampire. They got me a t-shirt that said “I love Edward Cullen, my sparkly straight twin”. I gave it to my aunt because Twilight was absolute shit. I walk into our apartment and I throw my suit down. I’m glad I didn’t take his money. If that is all he has, I’m not sure it would be right to take it. I am about to throw the cup away when something flutters from the side of the cup. I look at the ground, and I nearly faint when I see a business card. 

/Simon Snow

Art major

xxx-xxx-xxxx/

He. Gave. Me. His. Business. Card. Then I swoon. Because this adorable idiot gave me his business card. I calm myself and my racing heart down to look at the card properly. It’s simple, plain, but I can sense his presence. There’s a small flower drooping from one corner. He must of drawn it. It looks absolutely magnificent. Shaded perfectly, and it seems to breathe life into the rest of the card. My resolve goes right out the window and I race out of my apartment, back onto the street where I stopped for coffee. I look through the window, and I see something that stops my heart. It’s Snow, kissing a petite, long haired, blonde, and beautiful (I’m gay, not blind) girl on the cheek. I see the fondness is his eyes. Alarms ring in my head. Snow didn’t mean to hand me his card. It must have been an accident. Because right there, in all her glory, is his girlfriend. I run back, the sting of rejection pounding through my veins.

**Simon**

Agatha drops by, right after Vampy leaves. We chat a bit, and then she has to go catch a class. She’s going to study french, so she insists that everyone kiss her hello and goodbye on both cheeks. She’s quite dramatic. I think it’s her background, but Penny says that’s too stereotypical. But then again, Penny didn’t date and break up with her, so I don’t think she gets a say. I’m a bit distracted right now, because something is nagging me in the back of my brain. It comes to me, full force. I didn’t give Vampy a coupon, I GAVE HIM MY BUSINESS CARD. Then why didn’t he stop by? Why hasn’t he called me? Is he disgusted? Does he hate me that badly? Am I being unintentionally rejected. Did he not see it? Oh jeez. I’m such an idiot. I fret and worry when I’m supposed to be sleeping, and I toss and turn in my little flat about the coffee shop. I don’t get a wink of sleep. That morning, I have dark circles under my eyes, and I’m standing by the counter, almost in the exact same position as yesterday. Today, I’m by myself. Penny’s anniversary with Micah is today, and Davy gave her an off day. Today, all my classes are cancelled. Something about teacher collaboration? I don’t really care. I’m still thinking about Vampy. And speak of the devil, he walks in wearing jeans, and a black t-shirt. His hair is in a bun, and he has his backpack on one shoulder. My t-shirt in one hand. His eyes are slightly red. I bolt straight up and I hop over the counter and go right up to him.

“I’m so, so sorry about yesterday!” I’m practically grovelling.

“For what, dumping coffee all over me, ruining my suit, or giving me your business card?” he’s snarling at me. He’s mean vampy again. And I hate it. I growl, low and deep in the back of my throat.

**Baz**

Snow growls, and his fists clench. The air around him goes hazy. He’s so beautiful when he gets mad, and I hate him for it. 

“You posh fucking arsehole! I apologized and offered you money. What more do you fucking want!,” I open my mouth but suddenly he’s got his hand over it and I drop everything in surprise, he continues, “And giving you my business care was an accident! I meant to hand you a coupon, so you would come back! And I would never regret giving you it, because I thought you were beautiful and witty and I really liked you! And you didn’t fucking call! Are you that much of a homophobe?!”

“Ih geh” I mumble into his hand. I lick him then, because I’m childish, and he moves his hand away like I burned it, “I’m gayer than a tap dancing unicorn with a rainbow tattoo on it’s ass, Snow. And I didn’t call you because I saw you and your girlfriend.” I snarl, but it sounds defeated and hurt. He looks puzzled, but his eyes light up in realization.

“I got the card and I came back here, and you kissed her,” I sigh and try not to cry. It doesn’t work. He brushes away one tear with his thumb.

“That’s my friend who is taking french classes, she wants everyone to do the french kiss on the cheek,” he is smiling at me now. It’s too good to be true.

“Really?” I sound so broken and desperate. Gosh, I just met the guy!

“Really,” then he leans forward and kisses me just as aggressively as when we were fighting. I pull away. And take a couple of steps back, he looks really panicky and I can see the oncoming ramble of apologies, so I butt in.

“I’m Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, but you can call me Baz,” I say, grinning crazily, and holding my hand out. His t-shirt lays on the floor forgotten, and my backpack is getting heavier by the minute on my shoulder. 

“Simon Snow. I prefer Simon,” he tells me winking. He then dives in again to kiss me. 

**Simon**

I like this better than fighting.


End file.
